From a counselor: I have a perplexing client case involving a 7 year old girl who masturbates several times a day, including during school. The school has required therapy for the girl. I can not verify any sexual abuse, although she witnessed her parents in multiple domestic violence situations. I would appreciate any help I can get.

Our book Sex Facts for the Family may offer some help. Our basic approach would be to treat her as if she has been sexually abused, whether that was direct abuse or the indirect trauma of her parents’ domestic violence. We would also wonder if she experienced physical abuse or severe spanking and masturbation became her way of self soothing. We find that the primary need for continuing with excessive masturbation is need for physical affirmation. It would be interesting to see what would happen if the following program were implemented:

• Continue to treat her for her emotional wounds = therapy
• At least triple the amount of physical nurturing = holding and reading to, hugs, back rubs at bedtime, holding her hand to fall asleep, etc.
• Distract from masturbation, by offering one of the above whenever she is seen "stroking herself"
• Give her a function in the classroom to keep her hands busy at the times she is most likely to masturbate.

In other words: deal with the emotional issues leading to the behavior, substitute the self-soothing with adult nurturing, and distract for what is by now a compulsive habit.

For Further Exploration:
Sex Facts for the Family

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