Sex in the Later Years  What kind of changes in our physical relationship can my husband and I expect as we get older? We're currently in our thirties and have sex an average of two to three times a week. Will that frequency change? Does passion lessen? What can we do now to ensure that our sex lives will always be fun and fulfilling?
 Procreation may be for the young, but sexual pleasure is for both the young and old. God designed us as sexual beings from the moment of birth until the moment of death. Our sexuality does not die until we die.
Yes, there are some changes as we age that will affect sexual functioning. For most women, estrogen and progesterone levels drop in their fifties (sometimes as early as their thirties or as late as their sixties); and with that drop, women stop menstruating and reach menopause. Some women also experience a drop in the sexual energy hormone, testosterone. Unless a woman undergoes hormonal replacement therapy, she is likely at this time to have vaginal dryness, some irritation, and possibly a lessening of sexual desire and response. Having a complete hormonal evaluation, using a vaginal lubricant, exercising the P.C. muscle, and keeping active sexually are ways to counteract the changes of aging. For men, the male hormone testosterone begins to decrease at age 40 and decreases significantly from age 60 on. These changes need not affect the frequency or pleasure of the sexual experience, however, hormonal and cardiovascular changes can be the bases for sexual dysfunction, so should be evaluated by a urological sexual specialist. There are five changes that men experience as they age: 1. A man will require direct penile stimulation to get an erection, rather than responding to visual stimuli or thought stimulus. This may actually enhance lovemaking for the older couple, because the man and the woman will become more similar in their arousal response pattern. 2. A man's erections may not be as firm as they were when he was younger. He still will be able to enter and have total fulfillment unless he becomes anxious about his decrease in firmness. Impotence is not the result of the aging process, it is a result of either anxiety about the aging process or other physiological changes that are due to disease or medication. 3. The man's ejaculations become less intense as he ages. Yet the experience is equally satisfying. 4. A man may not need to ejaculate with each sexual experience. He may feel totally satisfied without an ejaculation. 5. A man will need a longer rest period between erection and ejaculation until he can be restimulated to another erection. All of these changes need to be recognized and adjusted for, but they need not lead to a decrease in frequency or passion. We would recommend that you keep your sexual relationship alive as you progress through the next stages of life. Make certain your time together is a priority, that you both are mutually satisfied, that you keep reading and talking about your sexual relationship, that you bring something new to your sexual experience every now and then, and that you seek medical evaluation from an expert in sexual functioning if your usual pattern of response changes in a way that concerns you. By doing these things, you will find new joy as you continue the pleasure of your marital bed--even into your old age.
For Further Exploration:
Sex Facts for the Family
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